Category Archives: Unconditional love

Not Good Enough

Good Enough

Not good enough, I heard you say, how can you make that call? You’ve seen my weakness, heard my pain, and watched me slip and fall? You sensed my need for reassurance and have given none. Your only object is my fate; your sentence now is done?

 

You think that I will just back down, and leave it all alone? Then you don’t know me very well; that judgment I can’t condone. There stand outside those yet unheard in this courtroom here today. Open the doors and let them in. These people have something to say.

There is the woman that was in church sitting silent and afraid. Together we shared the words of light that a path through her darkness made. We took of the bread and water sublime, her hungry soul to feed. And when she left, she smiled and said, “Thanks for seeing my need.”

Next came the children, young and tender, smiling sheepishly. They sighed. “She is the one there in the front, the lady who gave willingly! She loved us and shared all that she had. We went to her home and prayed. When we were sick, she was there with us, though others had not stayed.”

Then there’s the friend from long ago that the Spirit said to me, “Go to her home, she needs you now. You have time to stop and see.”  She was on the floor, writhing in pain, her children crying about. All she needed was a helping hand, and the Lord had heard her, no doubt.

The words of others came pouring in, a murmur throughout the room: the smiles given, the hungry fed, the many lifted from gloom. The record books could not hold them all, the pages were joyfully filled. The hearts of many were lifted up, as compassion was there unveiled.

Then suddenly there came a crack as the wood of the gavel went down. The judgment time had come at last. No one dared to make a sound. My name was called and I walked to the bar with head and heart hung low. No witness or testimony sufficient, it seemed, how would I ever know?

“Not good enough,” was all I could hear, no matter how hard I tried. Then a hand came forward, “Enter in my rest,” “How can I?” I meekly cried. “I’m not good enough, and will never be, I cannot enter alone.” “You don’t have to be, I’ve paid the price. Come, I will take you home.”

“You are my child, and will always be, my love for you never ends. You have done all you could, you do not have to make amends. The time has come, enter into my rest, lean on my shoulder now. Feel my love, it is all you need, the rest will work out somehow.”

©2015 by Denise W. Anderson, all rights reserved. Subscribe todayfor your emotional health!

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How do I Forgive Myself?

There is Hope

 

 

I can’t believe I did that! What was I thinking? I should have known it wouldn’t work! Why didn’t I see the signs? How could I have been so blind?

When the disappointments of life come, our critical inner voice is released in all its fury. We are surrounded by a whirlwind of “should haves,” “would haves,” and “could haves” that beat down the walls of our self-worth, collapse the house of our dreams, and leave us groveling in a heap of rubble.

Before we even have a chance to assess the damage, our own private judge and jury finds us guilty as charged for not knowing, not being good enough, and not being able to see far enough into the future. We are sentenced to a life of hard labor for what we have unwittingly done!

Hold on! If someone we love makes a mistake and feels bad about it, we are quick to step in and reassure them that we love them. We encourage them to keep moving forward and give them a helping hand to get back on their feet. Why can’t we do that with ourselves?

We know ourselves too well. We have rehearsed our weaknesses and imperfections more times than we can count. We know what happens when they are played out on the stage of our lives. We have seen firsthand how the audience responds and the resulting consequences.

We think that if we punish ourselves first, then God won’t have to! We forget that he has already paid the ultimate price for our sin because of his love for us. Instead, we assume that surely he cannot love us until we have paid the ultimate price ourselves!

God’s love is like the sunshine. It is always there. Sometimes we cannot feel it because a cloud of self-doubt or a hailstorm of weakness and imperfection gets in the way. Groping around in the darkness and shadows, we forget that the sun will come out again, or even that it is still there!

In order to forgive ourselves, we have to find some small ray of sunshine to rekindle our hope. If we can remember the good that has happened in our lives, we realize that we are still worthwhile people. We are able to minimize our mistake, let go of the ill feelings, and move on.

In essence, we change our inner critic into our inner parent. Like a loving father, we wrap our arm around our shoulder and give ourselves some instructions. We accept the humble state of our weakness and imperfection, and give ourselves room to grow and progress.

Life goes on. Thankfully, the sun comes out! It always does. Disappointment and heartache are replaced by joy and happiness as we forgive ourselves. We move forward with faith and renewed hope that we can become the people that we were meant to be!

©2015 by Denise W. Anderson, all rights reserved. Subscribe todayfor your emotional health!

Leave a comment – Do you have a hard time forgiving yourself?